1. During his Christmas vacation in Texas, what did George W. Bush do for the first time since taking office?
(a) He hunted quail, though reporters were not permitted to see him holding a gun.
(b) He cooked quail, though reporters were prevented from seeing him at the stove.
(c) He ate snail, though reporters were not allowed to see if he chewed it or just swallowed it whole.
(d) He called Quayle, though reporters were not privy to what they talked about.
2. After George W. Bush tried to distance himself from the premature “Mission Accomplished” banner on the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln by implying that it was all the ship’s crew’s idea (although, in fact, the banner had been made by the White House), which Democratic Presidential candidate said, “I guess the next thing we’re going to hear is that the sailors told him to wear the flight suit and prance around on the aircraft carrier”?
(a) General Wesley Clark.
(b) Governor Howard Dean.
(c) Reverend Al Sharpton.
(d) Senator John Kerry.
3. Complete George W. Bush’s statement: “I want to remind you all that in order to fight and win the war it requires an expenditure of money that is ____________ with keeping a promise to our troops to make sure that they’re well paid, well trained, well equipped.”
4. What was Attorney General John Ashcroft rebuked for by a federal judge?
(a) Using provisions of the Patriot Act against strip-club operators in Las Vegas.
(b) His efforts to obtain the medical records of women who had partial-birth abortions to see if the procedures were really necessary.
(c) Not recusing himself sooner from the investigation into the White House leak regarding Valerie Plame.
(d) Deleting passages from a study on diversity in the Justice Department which were critical of the department’s treatment of minority employees.
5. When a reporter suggested that the Bush Administration’s refusal to allow France, Germany, and Russia to bid on Iraq reconstruction projects might violate international law, what did George W. Bush say?
(a) “Haven’t you seen what I think of international law?”
(b) “Well, I guess they’ll just have to put me in international jail.”
(c) “International law? I better call my lawyer; he didn’t bring that up to me.”
(d) “You know what violated international law? 9/11.”
6. Darryl Dent.
7. John B. (Bill) Calhoun.
8. Madeleine Albright.
9. David Greenberg.
(a) The member of George W. Bush’s Alabama National Guard squadron who said that he remembered Bush reporting for duty during the 1972 period in which other Guardsmen claim never to have seen him.
(b) The former official who reacted to Saddam Hussein’s capture by saying, “Do you suppose that the Bush Administration has Osama bin Laden hidden away somewhere and will bring him out before the election?”
(c) The soldier killed in Iraq whose funeral—like the funerals of every other soldier killed in Iraq—George W. Bush didn’t attend, even though his was held only three miles from the White House.
(d) The historian who said that, while George W. Bush was the ideological son of Ronald Reagan, “stylistically, he’s the son of Nixon.”
10. True or false: A Republican Senate aide who watched George W. Bush’s press conference after the capture of Saddam Hussein said of Bush, “He was on gloat-control drugs devised by the N.I.H. for just this occasion.”
11. What did Condoleezza Rice say when Oprah Winfrey asked her to reveal something about George W. Bush that would surprise people?
(a) “He knows where Canada is.”
(b) “He’s an excellent Scrabble player.”
(c) “He eats fast.”
(d) “He pronounces ‘nuclear’ correctly in private conversations.”
12. True or false: At a Pennsylvania hunt involving the release of five hundred pen-raised pheasants, Vice-President Dick Cheney refused to participate, asking, “Where’s the sport in shotgunning a bunch of tame birds?”